If you can just let go of the pain, the heartbreak, the mental games, whatever it is that has been holding you in thrall, and follow your heart, you will reach a place of unexpectedly abundant pleasure.

The appearance of The Chariot, reversed, in the past, makes it look as though you've had a clue that this was what you had to do, but there seems to have been a relapse - something to do with control, maybe?

Let it go...from every cell in your body, let it go....